Insecurity.
Defined as: ‘Uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence’. There is emotional insecurity and just simple insecurity but they both cause an individual to feel uneasy or nervous. This can be triggered by someone perceiving themselves as inferior or vulnerable — this can make this person feel as if their self image or ego is unstable or threatened.
Insecurity can be caused by many aspects — your childhood, recent failures, rejection, past traumas, social anxiety, perfectionism about yourself and also negative beliefs about yourself. Insecurity has its way of hindering us. It stops one from feeling positive about themselves. This feeling can be triggered by an external party who isn’t yourself or it can be something you don’t like about yourself.
Examples include: if as a child you’re called names at home or outside your home, like ‘stupid’ or ‘fat’ or ‘ugly’, you form some sort of early attachment to these labels which can lead to you being insecure. It’s then left to you to overcome these insecurities. As you’re trying to reach your goal, these voices you once heard get louder — they may cause you to pull back from people, or a relationship, you may even start to feel shy when around other people or act out towards them.
Personal insight alert! One of my biggest insecurities is my facial hair. It’s something I’ve had to deal with and try to ignore for the time being. It wasn’t always something that concerned me — especially when I was younger, I took no notice of it. As I got older it became something I felt very anxious about and it took my mum reassuring me here and there for me to feel ‘alright’ about it. One reason why I don’t feel as bad as I could is because I know it’s something that can be changed when I want to do so. But the thing about it is that other people would comment on it ‘ahh Temii you’ve got sideburns etc’ and laugh about it. I too would laugh, but only as a way for me to not get upset. I don’t find it funny at all. Anyways I digress.
There are a few angles to insecurity. Another one would be within your emotional side to yourself — this can also link in with past ‘trauma’ and/or experiences. If you’ve been hurt by the opposite gender for example, this can cause you to be insecure when you feel yourself liking/with someone new. A result of this is you pulling back from that person, not opening up to that person or putting a very strong guard up. This not only affects you, but it affects the other individual. Getting close to someone can bring your long buried insecurities back up to the surface and leave you confused. You have to make a decision — are you going to allow your insecurity to take over or are you going to defy your emotional insecurity. I mean you can’t let your past block your future blessings forever.
Insecurity is something you have to tackle from within you. This could be forgiving what has happened in the past, whether this be someone that has wronged you with their words or actions. You need to practice praising yourself, you need to be able to praise and love yourself before seeking this from other people. Develop a moment of trust — trust in the moment that everything will be okay. You cannot keep holding back forever otherwise you won’t move forward — this happens over time. Lastly, accept you for you. Accept yourself for who you are, reassure yourself, show yourself some love.
Insecurity. Destroy it. Find security within yourself. Love yourself.
