Lust or Love?
A Misconception.
What Is It?
Lust is defined as a ‘strong sexual desire’ or ‘a passionate desire for something.’ It can also be a ‘strong sexual desire for someone’. Lust is very often mistaken for love; a lot of people get the two mixed up and confuse themselves. Lust is a strong sexual desire that is solely based on physical attraction, which makes it a more vulnerable thing and is more likely to burnout.
What Lust Entails?
When you’re in lust with someone you only think about sexual desires with that person and if you were to then pursue a relationship with this person…the focal point would be sexual relations. When you are lusting, you tend to become self centred and you will focus on sexual intimacy instead of building a relationship with the other party. Lusting can also mean you do not want to form a connection — this could mean you choose not to talk about anything beyond shallow topics, or you two are always ending your conversations in the bedroom. When you’re lusting after someone you may be pretending to be someone you’re not and you can end up exaggerating the truth.
Lust vs Love? The Misconception
Like love, lust has a similar feeling that most people get confused with. There are many similar feelings when it comes to the two emotions. Some may say you can only confuse the two if you haven’t experienced love or if you don’t know what love is. They start off the same — there is a spark, a connection between the two individuals. Lust is a more in the moment feeling — a short term feeling, whereas love is a long term emotion. I personally don’t think your love for someone can run out/end. When someone is lusting, they’re thinking with their genitals, not their brain and not their heart. Yes, that’s it raw and simple. People tend to think that they are in ‘love’ or they love someone because of the sexual attraction that is present, but the harsh reality is that there are no true feelings present.
Love is a feeling that involves commitment, putting effort into the bond you have with the other individual, you have a desire to grow with the person and do what’s in the best interest for them. The pair of you can talk for hours about anything and everything, including any deep feelings. You care for the other person and how they feel.
When you’re in love, you know the beloved individual isn’t perfect, but you choose to love them regardless — it’s their imperfections that you like the most. Lusting may involve you thinking your partner is perfect, there’s nothing wrong with them and they can’t do nothing wrong from your perspective.
Being in lust, you spend most of your time in the bedroom, you have a desire to have sex all the time, but you don’t focus on connecting in other ways. On the other hand, if you’re in love, there is sex involved, but the difference is that you do want to connect in other ways e.g. doing things together or trying out new hobbies.
If you don’t like something one has said, you will call it out in a nice matter — there is honesty and communication in order for them to be the best they can be. This is love.
You’re so infatuated with this person that you look the other way when they do things you don’t like, you ignore all the red flags, because you want to keep things positive. This is lust.
Lust is about the present moment.
Love is about the long term perspective.
Lust vs Love, a very big misconception.
